


A Better Man

by Causteek



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Episode Tag, Episode: s04e05 His Father's Son, F/M, Gen, M/M, episode coda
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-30
Updated: 2011-10-30
Packaged: 2017-10-26 03:11:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/278016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Causteek/pseuds/Causteek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Coda to 4x05. If Merlin could believe Arthur was better than this, then so could Arthur.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Better Man

**Author's Note:**

> Title: A Better Man  
> Disclaimer: Merlin is owned by the BBC and other associated parties. I do not make any profit from this story and the plot is purely fiction.  
> Summary: Coda to 4x05. If Merlin could believe Arthur was better than this, then so could Arthur.  
> Rating: PG  
> Warnings: Pre-slash A/M, Spoilers for 4x05, Mentions of Arthur/Gwen but not explored. Unbeta'd.  
> Pairings: Pre-slash A/M with slight mention of Arthur/Gwen  
> Word Count: 766  
> Author's Note: It called to be written. I was unable to resist and so this was born. This is my first time writing from Arthur's P.O.V. but I think it fits him well. Plot bunnies wait for no one. Be kind, this went up fast. If you see any glaring errors, don't be afraid to kindly point them out.

In truth, Arthur had begun regretting having Caerleon killed before the man had even been put to death at the hands of Sir Darian. He hadn’t been able to kill the man himself. Arthur knew that if he stared into the eyes of an unarmed man and killed him, he’d never sleep again. _This was necessary_ , he repeated to himself, _if I’m seen as weak, my people will suffer. I must keep them safe._

Merlin, not-so-bumbling-idiot-who-knew-him-better-than-anyone that he was, had picked up on his regret instantly. He knew Merlin hadn’t agreed with his choice, and that Merlin knew Arthur wasn’t as comfortable with it as he tried to appear. Still, it wouldn’t do to let others know.

He didn’t let Merlin talk about it, interrupting every time he hinted at niggling doubt at the back of Arthur’s mind. Arthur would instead continually stress that his “conscious was clean.” It wasn’t, not really, but he needed to be strong to support Camelot. When Uther had been King he had ruled the country almost by himself, and in respect for his father Arthur would do the same.

Of course, Uther had occasionally accepted small help from his family but only his family. So in the traditions of his father, he looked to his only living relative, Agravaine, for advice. Except… sometimes, Arthur didn’t agree with Agravaine. The man seemed to be all about shows of power and traditions where Arthur wanted change. He didn’t just want his people safe like his father before him, he wanted them happy.

Still, when his Uncle approached him about Gwen, he had taken it into careful consideration. After all, his uncle surely knew more about these things than he did. Agravaine had been there when Uther was still a new king and he had advised his father before him. Surely the man knew what he was doing (or at least, more than Arthur did).

Between the announcement of Caerleon’s execution and their journey back to Camelot, Merlin started shooting him disappointed looks as he did his chores. The next morning, Merlin hadn’t awakened him with the traditional “Rise and shine!” but with a quiet opening of the curtains and setting of his breakfast. Taking his clothes to be washed, Merlin had shuffled back out. Only a mumbled, “Yes, sire” and he was gone, with not one damn, overly cheerful word.

Later in the day, Merlin began subtly hinting at the guilt Arthur held. If Arthur acknowledged this though, he’d have to admit he felt it.

And then... then Leon had come to him with news of Caerleon’s army coming and he knew it was his fault. He had killed their king and expected no retaliation.

Arthur would never admit, not even under pain of death, that he froze in those first few seconds as the fact that he had unintentionally started a war hit him. If asked there hadn’t been a moment between receiving the news and calling for the war council.

After gathering his wits, Arthur had strode into the council chambers as a King should, because if nothing else, he could walk like a king. Quickly, plans had been made and war planned. All the while, he could feel Merlin’s gaze piercing into the side of his face, burning a hole in his barriers and picking apart every emotion that passed through him.

Yet, it wasn’t the war call or the grim faces of the council or even his Uncle beginning a chorus of “Long live the King,” it wasn’t anything that happened that set his mind as to what he had to do for his people. It was what _didn’t_ happen.

As he scanned the faces of all these people who had faith in him, his eyes came to rest on Merlin. Merlin who wasn’t joining in, Merlin who wasn’t praising his well put together plan, Merlin who looked so disappointed in him. It was in _that_ moment that Arthur knew: he couldn’t let this happen.

If nothing else, he had to be the king Merlin believed he could be. Because Merlin had believed in him when he was a young stubborn arrogant prat. Because Merlin had believed in him to be better than a young stubborn arrogant prat. Because Merlin called him names like dollop head with such friendly affection he couldn’t ignore it. Because Merlin was looking at him, knowing he was better than this. If nothing else, he had to be the sort of better Merlin _still_ believed him capable of.

If Merlin could believe Arthur was better than this, then so could Arthur.

End.

**Author's Note:**

> Come scream at me on [tumblr!](http://causteek.tumblr.com)


End file.
